I woke up with a start and began to gasp for air. I felt Sylvie slip off my chest from the sudden movement, but I didn't manage to come to my senses right away. The feeling of suffocation and complete helplessness, as well as the stench, were still too palpable, still not completely gone. Slowly but surely I started to come to my senses. First I concentrated on her purple eyes. She didn't take her worried gaze off me. Then I squeezed the moss under my fingers and smelled the fresh earth. The chirping of birds slowly made its way into my consciousness, overpowering the sound of my heart beating frantically. Another nightmare. I wonder when we will stop having them. I know that Sylvie has them too, I had to wake her up and comfort her quite a few times. When will we feel safe again? Although, probably subconsciously, we have been choosing open fields lately, the feeling of constraint, narrowness, and fear has not left us. Being so closed and completely isolated was a terrible experience. I think it's time to face everything that had happened. I can't run away forever and pretend that nothing had happened. Maybe it will help if I write everything down, as I should have done a long time ago:

​

Always when I recall these events the first thing that comes to the surface is laughter. The thunderous laughter of the crowd surrounding me. Everyone laughing like they're watching the funniest show in the world. "What are you staring at, is there a dancing bear?!" How many times did I hear that as a child. I wondered what it looked like, it must be very cute and bizarre. I imagined a fat bear in a skirt around the waist swaying excitedly. Right here, in the middle of nowhere, at a place visited only by people of questionable professions, traveling from point A to point B, I have learned that I was wrong. It was definitely not cute. In front of me stood a bear with a muzzle around its mouth. She was young, not yet fully grown. She was too skinny. Her "dance" consisted of involuntary movements of her front paws on the floor. The man who controlled her held the chain in his hand, while the other man struck the timbrel. The chain was not attached to the muzzle, it was more decorative and served to prevent the bear from opening its mouth. No, the chain was attached directly to her muzzle and nose, any movement of the chain to one side or the other would painfully stretch that sensitive skin. And people were still laughing... I took a step forward, but someone's hand on my shoulder stopped me. When I looked up, I met the determined look of a man who gently shook his head, signaling me not to interfere. I don't know why, maybe because of the compassion that reflected on his face or the security that his grip provided, but I listened to him. While our little exchange was going on, the bear was packed into some olive green van and all three of them disappeared from the square which was quickly clearing now that there was no more "fun". I regretfully returned to the forest where Sylvie was waiting for me. While I was still going through my thoughts about what just happened, out of the corner of my eye I noticed the corner of the previously mentioned van making its way through some hardly noticeable path. Considering that this road was not paved, it was hardly passable, it was not difficult to follow it. Which of course we did.

 

It soon stopped in front of the gate hidden in the bushes, and after a few minutes it disappeared behind it. Now that we had a destination, it didn't seem like the smartest idea to climb to the top of the fence, which seemed to belong to a secret base, and honestly, it didn't seem easy either. The bushes were thin and the wall was pretty tall. I was sure the top was secured with barbed wire or spikes. I wondered to whom the "secret base" belongs (as Sylvie and I jokingly called it). We made a circle around the complex and found out that the secret base is actually a villa with a big yard. Unlike several rather kitsch mansions popping up in the mostly poor town, actually slightly larger houses, this one was made with style. The part from which we started to explore was attached to the forest and most likely led to the back yard. The main gate was large, made of wrought iron, and revealed a very carefully maintained courtyard. The left side of the courtyard was surrounded by a wall that once belonged to a temple or a fortress, and which now protruded from a small hill. The whole environment was completed with a small pond. There was nothing to indicate that the owner was engaged in suspicious activities. Because the entry of a van with a bear, which has been misused, through a secret door definitely belongs to the suspicious category. I can't remember how many times we circled around trying to find a weak point to sneak through until Sylvie suddenly changed tactics. I'm not sure if she heard or smelled something, but she suddenly became agitated and ran away from the property. After a while she seemed to find what she was looking for. Buried in the ground was an opening with rusted bars that were half spread out. When I cleared the vegetation around it a little, I noticed that the stone it was made of was the same as the one on the property, they probably belonged to the same ancient building, which meant that there were great chances that we could reach the property here. With that idea, we headed inside.

 

The descent was extremely steep, clearly not intended for human use, perhaps a vent or something. After just a few steps, the temperature dropped drastically, and we could smell the unpleasant smell of staleness and something else that I couldn't determine. The smell only intensified when we suddenly rolled out of the opening into a larger corridor. The part we were in was not lit, but not far away there was a fork from which the artificial light of neon lights came. We decided to examine these slightly darker areas first until we got some idea of exactly where we ended up. The interior of this, now underground building, was like a labyrinth. Some parts were obviously more recent and were built as needed. We found several locked doors and a couple of abandoned small rooms. It seemed that this part was not actively used. On one wall we found the whole plan of the complex. The whole structure could be divided into five units with two main corridors that were in the shape of the letter "h" and many smaller corridors that led to rooms of different sizes. The part we were in was marked as "Stock" and apart from one larger room that was marked as a warehouse, it consisted of many small rooms marked with signs such as storage, equipment, supplies, goods, tech and archives. Coupled with the fact the fact that everything was translated into three languages, one of which was made up of completely unrecognizable signs, the purpose of the four remaining blocks was a little unusual. The closest to the Stock block was the block called "Holding facilities". It was divided into two parts by a corridor. The largest room in the entire complex belonged to this block and was located right next to the storage area. It contained four rows of regularly spaced squares. This arrangement reminded me of the boxes where dogs were kept at illegal breeding farms for popular breeds. In its continuation, there were smaller rooms marked with strange names like CA, Re, Ro1, etc. The part located opposite the warehouse had a main corridor surrounded by niches and a smaller corridor that connected it in the middle with the part marked as "Disposal" which belonged to the "Unloading" block. This part was located right next to the gate and was not separated from the widest corridor by a door. The van with the bear obviously had to be here, because the further corridors were too narrow for it. I assumed that the bear itself was in the area next to it that was marked as Holding facilities. Fortunately, it was also the closest to us. Of the remaining two blocks, one was divided into two subsections "Experiments" and "Laboratories". All the rooms here were marked as laboratories or dispensaries for various purposes, with a few smaller rooms marked as storage areas. The block called "Extraction" confused me the most because I couldn't even guess its purpose. It was not large in size and was located directly across the door from the largest room, the one with the boxes. Within it there was also a smaller room which was marked as "Emergency interventions". I didn't want to waste my energy trying to guess what this could mean, but decided I'd stop by the Archives first and try to find out what this place was, before getting down to locating the bear and the van. My attention was drawn to the sign "Private rooms" on the wall farthest from the entrance. This sign seemed to mark a door, but the rooms the door led to were not marked. Also, the position of the door was strategically placed to facilitate access to the largest number of laboratories in both subsections of this block. If I had to guess, I'd say the private rooms were attached to the villa, while the unloading area was the entrance from the back yard. Sylvie was slightly agitated and visibly upset the entire time we were here, which confirmed it my conviction that we should stop by the archives first to learn more about this place. She probably already had an idea of what was going on here based on the smells and sounds that were unavailable to me.

 

The Archives were a little messy a room full of scattered boxes. One of them was lying open, with several folders lying on the floor next to it. The box was marked as "Extraction". Although my intention was to learn more about the Holding facilities block I was headed for, I picked up the few folders to flip through. The first one that caught my eye explained the process of extracting, hence the name, bile acid from mostly moon bears, as well as its subsequent use. I thought this became illegal in all countries because a synthetic substance was found that has the same effect when it comes to treating liver and gallstones. Most of the other uses were not proven, they were even listed in the file as a marketing gimmick without the need for careful use of the same. The rest of the file listed the methods of extraction, as well as the most effective ways to solve the problems caused by the same. In addition to the syringe and catheter, there was a free dripping method of opening of the gallbladder. The note says to take care when using metal tubes for this because if they stay in the bear's body they can lead to infection. It goes on to say which antibiotics can be used to treat the infections, which are obviously inevitable. It also states how and which tumors to remove that arise around the extraction area, which was apparently also a common case since it is stated in the general notes. At the very end were instructions on how to dispose of bears that are no longer usable and what parts to save for the black market, such as paws and fangs. I shuddered to think in what conditions these wonderful creatures live. And how long can they last in the same, given that their lifespan is about 3 decades. Other files contained individual cases with photos that showed me that I don't have enough imagination when it comes to human cruelty. The photos showed bears in cages smaller than themselves, with open wounds on their stomachs and a bunch of other health problems from various diseases to dehydration, malnutrition, wounds on their bodies and I couldn't go on. I closed the files and my eyes so as to erase what I saw, but the images continued to line up one after the other, seemingly without end. The screams, similar to children's, but still clearly inhuman, forced me to leave everything and, as if hypnotized, go in the direction from which they came, and towards which I had originally headed.

 

In two niches, one opposite the other, there were cubs of the moon bear. By the time I reached them, the cries had died down. Some of the bears were lying on the floor, restrained by chains so that they could not stand up, so that they could not even raise their heads from the floor. Others stood on their hind legs, backs against the wall, also chained. The two cubs closest to us comforted each other as they tried to keep themselves in an unnaturally upright position so as not to suffocate. Sylvie immediately approached them and began to comfort them further, at the same time inspecting how she could break the chains. It was clear to both of us that it was impossible without hurting them. The only warning I had before someone grabbed my arm was the startled cry of the cub closest to me. The man who grabbed me violently turned me around and slammed me against the bars on which I had been leaning until a moment ago, trying to reach the cubs. I hit my head on the metal and squeezed my eyes shut in pain. I felt Sylvie rush to my side to protect me, but when I opened my eyes she was already locked in a tiny cage. If we hadn't been in this horrible place, such an oversight would never have happened to her, the fact that she didn't hear two people approaching us is proof of how shaken she was. Both of them had stern expressions on their faces. It was obvious that they were surprised to find us here, but as they dragged me and carried Sylvie through the corridor, they started talking contentedly, occasionally pointing at Sylvie. It seemed like they were expecting a reward from the person they were leading us to, since they clearly weren't in charge here.

 

The stench was unbearable and sudden. The smell of rot, excrement and antiseptics made me suddenly sick and I collapsed on the floor with a sharp pain in my knees when they hit the concrete. The man dragging me was visibly annoyed and yanked me to my feet with such force that I thought he was going to rip my arm off my shoulder. I barely had time to register the rows of cages full of bears through the large door that someone had opened on the Extraction block. The documentation on this block was terrifying, but the real situation was even more monstrous. The moment the door closed behind a man pushing something on a cart in front of him, Sylvie let out a heartbreaking cry, like a sob. I have never heard anything more painful in my life. My heart sank watching her whimper in that cramped cage, not feeling sorry for herself, but for all the other animals whose cruel fates we witnessed here. The rest of the trip went by in a blur. I could barely see the rooms we were passing by because of tears. We stopped in front of a thick metal door with several complicated locks. The man holding Sylvie rang what looked like an intercom.

While we were waiting for someone to open the door, enough time had passed for me to completely calm down and start paying attention to my surroundings. I realized that we had reached the part that was marked as Private Rooms. The person who opened the door looked like some young gentleman from a novel and looked completely out of place, in fact, he looked like he didn't belong in this whole area. Behind the stern mask one could see the irritation at being called and before he finished what he had to say his eyes fell on Sylvie.

"What do we have here?".

The sudden change in accent that no longer sounded unnatural due to the obvious use of a non-native language almost stopped me from realizing that I now actually understood what he was saying. This gave me hope that I might be able to reach some kind of agreement with him, but before I could say a few words the man holding me lashed out and threatened to punch me. "Gentleman" made a disgusted look on his face that I'm not sure if it was directed at me or them as he carried Sylvie's cage deeper into the room. which seemed to belong to a mansion.

“Close her somewhere for now and empty Lab 1. I'll need to examine this creature more closely.”

When no one moved he realized he'd mistakenly spoken in the wrong language. He quickly repeated his instructions and closed the door behind him. I caught Silvie's look, which calmed my panic a little. She was determined and angry, which meant that I couldn't give in. When they started to drag me through the corridor, I set myself the goal of finding out where I was.

It turned out not to be such a difficult task as they headed straight to Laboratory 1. We first went through the disinfection area and then entered a large room full of equipment. I thought I saw some cages with rabbits and a monkey before we went behind the wall that belonged to the storage room in the laboratory. They quickly forgot about me which gave me the opportunity to examine the shelves and other surfaces around me since it was obvious that there was only one way out of here and from my position I wasn't going to get anywhere near it before I was caught.

The table in front of me was chaotic and full of papers. It seemed as if the person working here  couldn't settle on just one 'project'. Mixed in were different reports, anatomical drawings of various animals, scientific articles and chemical formulas. The shelf behind me was just as confusing - full tube and a jar with some unknown substances. Some of them smelled like chemicals. Most of them were like some kind of glitter paste. On one glass there were spread all possible shades of red and it was only when I noticed the box next to the glass that it was clear to me that it was a lipstick! At that moment I heard the cries of an agitated monkey and turned around in time to see him being taken out of the room, along with the other cages. In the last cage, which was actually a glass box with a hole for the head, I saw a rabbit whose entire half of its body was shaved, and various irritations such as blisters and open wounds were visible on its skin.
One of the two men in charge of me approached me and put me in a cage in the storage. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to give them that pleasure, or a reason for further threats of physical violence if I didn't stop, and yet I felt tears streaming down my face as soon as they closed the door behind them, leaving me in complete darkness. There was nothing to distract me from the horror we had witnessed, the fear for the future and the worry of what Sylvie was going through now. I felt the absolute helplessness and defeat. Silent tears soon turned into sobs that continued until I fell asleep from exhaustion in sleep that promised no rest.